I LOVE being a mom. I never thought you could love someone so totally (sorry hubby...I heart you!). O is my adventurous, mischevious, adorable two year old. There are times when he tells me he loves me and others " go away mommy..." which breaks my heart of course! You see - O is a Daddy's boy. I guess he is a man's man as he also adores my dad, whom he affectionately calls "Oupa" (we are english...but whatever makes him happy). I always thought that I was a Girly mom and when we found out that O was actually a BOY, and not a girl, as we had been told previously, I was crushed. You see, I did not think we would have anymore kids (I have a stepson - Stirling) and had been yearning for some pink. As all mom's know - the moment (or some time after that) your baby is born, you develop this incredible sense of pride/protectiveness and love. He is my pride and joy and even on those days when my patience is tried, just one look into that face and all resistance crumbles.......
Like many two year olds, O is all over the place. He knows that when you are done eating/drinking etc, that the plate/cup/utensil goes into the sink (he has been doing this since he was 18 months), but these days he gets half way to the kitchen and then something else becomes more interesting/urgent. This varies from needing the loo (his favourite anti-bed time game), to being mesmerised by his reflection in our oven door...sometimes though he does manage to carry out the request. I must admit that my heart melts when I see him run past me, butt naked at bath time, to put his clothes into the wash basket!
When Hubby and I decided that we would try for another baby in the hopes his dream (and mine) would become a reality, I honestly thought it was going to end up with me being horribly out numbered! The 12 week scan went well, but they would not tell us the sex (Hubby reminded them that they got it wrong the last time!), so at 15 weeks we went again. I was positive that I saw the makings of a little boy and to be honest, had already picked out a name. When we were told that it was a girl, I did not believe it - I then spent the next few months checking every time I went to the gynae. I guess I was too scared to believe it and then have my hopes dashed again. The week before I was due to have my c-section I checked for the last time. In January our beautiful Angel was born.
I was worried how I would feel - would I love this child as much as I loved O? I guess this is a typical feeling for all second time moms- and perhaps third and fourth? V is my precious angel - totally different from her brother (DUH!), I still sit in awe that God chose to bless us and answer our prayers. I did have a wobble though - when I arrived home from the hospital, I looked at this little baby boy that I had left a few days earlier and he had gone! In his place was a little boy who was confident, cute and BIGGER. Somehow his hands and feet had trippled in size and I could hardly believe how tall he seemed (where had I been the past few months??). I shed many a tear that my baby had gone - but he had'nt - he had merely moved forward to make space his baby sister.
As I watch V on her play quilt, almost 11 weeks later, I chuckle to myself at how silly I must have been. Of course I have the capacity to love another child - and yes I love her just as much as her brother. O will always be my baby and so will V......
